Who dat?
I'm 32. A homosexual. A writer. A lover. A sinner. A saint. A joker. A midnight poker. I am FOZZIEBARE
Follow me on Twitter @Fozziebare or e-mail me at fozzie@fozziebare.com
Valentines Gay, NOT
Just based on the advertisements we basically know the entire story about the upcoming celebritypalooza known as Valentines Day the movie (possible big spoilers ahead if you fast forward through commercials or if you're one of those douchebags who says "I don't watch TV" but if that's the case you deserve what you get): Ashton Kutcher proposes to his girlfriend, Jessica Alba, who freaks out and checks into a hotel with her dog. Jessica Biel and Jennifer Garner hold a disastrous Valentines Day party that no one attends before going out to get drunk with girlfriends. Topher Grace hooks up with Anne Hathaway on Valentines Day. And finally Julia Roberts meets Bradley Cooper on an airplane and the two fall in love....or so the ads would have you believe. The real story between those two is far darker and insidious. A fact so horrifying that no audience could handle it. A truth which should the mere word be uttered families would dissolve and children would be in danger of turning into heroin addicts! That fact? Bradley Cooper's character is a homosexual! A closeted homosexual to be exact, and his partner is played by McSteamy himself, Eric Dane, who is conspicuously absent from the posters and all of the television spots I have seen. Which have been plenty. This lie of ommission could possibly be excused if not for the fact that the Cooper/Dane romance is a major plot point of the interwoven storyline. It's not unusual for a production company to attempt to de-gay a movie by leaving all aspects of homosexuality out of the adverts (take for example the controversy surrounding the initial trailers for i love you phillip morris which never mentioned the love affair between the two main characters, which is essentially the crux of the film). I find this practice generally deplorable, especially in a movie which is all about love in it's many forms, shapes, sizes and even Queen Latifahs. This marketing plot to appeal to people who don't like things "shoved in their face" paired with the fact that all of the minorities in the cast seem to be secondary characters is quickly turning me off to a movie that I once had very high hopes for.
Reaper's reaping
My new favorite people in the entire world over at cliqueclack.com have thought to ask the burning question that's been on all our minds: How was Reaper supposed to end? Whether the show had gone ten seasons or three (as opposed to the sad little two they got) the showrunners for the series must have had an end game in sight, had they been given the opportunity to show one, right? Right. And it turns out the only reason they have never revealed this evil plan is because no one asked. Well Keith McDuffee did and in addition to finding out that both Giles (Anthony Stewart Head) and Spike (James Marsters) were considered for the role of the devil, which eventually went to Ray Wise, here's what he found out:“We had a lot of ideas in both short and long term. I remember that, at the end of the second season, we had hoped to put Andi to work at the DMV with Gladys. We love Gladys. Christine Willes is just so much fun, and we thought she and Andi had such a great way of sparring with each other that that could have been great.”
If you're anything like me you are more interested in Sam and the question of who this baby daddy? Get this: “If you remember, Dad wasn’t dead. And there was a whole reason why he wasn’t dead. Basically, the whole premise that never actually had the chance to come out was the idea that Dad was a demon, who made a deal with the Devil. He fell in love with Sam’s mom and wanted to marry her. So the deal was, fine, you’re not a demon anymore. He was never fully human, either, which is why you can’t kill him. So, in the pilot, when he said he was really sick and made a deal with the Devil, he wasn’t 100% lying nor 100% telling the truth. And this is the reason why Sam is special: Sam is part human, part demon.” Dun dun DUN!
“Sam was led to believe he was the Devil’s son, but that wasn’t true. That’s not the reason Sam had powers — the powers came from his father. His father was really his father. And part of his deal was that he was never really allowed to tell Sam the truth, and that’s the reason why he says to him ‘there’s more to this than I can tell you.’ And part of what we tried to get out of all of this was that Sam really is special. That’s the reason why, at the end of the last season, Steve comes to him and says Sam is caught between good and evil. What we hoped to get out of the third season was what part did Sam have to play? Sam’s whole existence, and the reason the Devil was paying so much attention to him and hanging out with him so much was because there was a reason: Sam was half-human and half-demon, and the Devil was really worried that this kid was going to be his downfall. If you look at what the Devil is doing throughout the series, he’s trying to tempt Sam to be bad. And he’s trying to tempt him to embrace this, that what you’re doing isn’t so bad. The whole point was that if he can turn Sam bad, the Sam isn’t a threat anymore.”
The crew goes on to say, “Other than where we knew where we were headed, and we knew of the secrets of who Sam really was and what the Devil was doing, we sort of left that open. And we did that because, I find that kind of paralyzing to have too much worked out ahead of you. It would have been a happy ending — he would have gotten the girl and he would have gotten out of his deal with the devil, and we would have found a way to get there.”
Interesting! But what about Sock and Ricky? Were they more than they appeared? No, not really. My doppelganger Tyler Labine had a story worked out in his head where he and Ricky were archangels but the showrunners never intended that to be true, rather having the two act as Sam's connection to the mortal and moral world.
So there you have it; the end to a series we will never see. OR WILL WE? Well not in the way that you think but the website also asked the showrunners about the possibility of continuing the series in comic form the way that Buffy, Angel, and Firefly have done. You'll have to check back with cliqueclack.com for that article a little later.
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When Wilhelmina met Rupaul
After the stellar, action-packed debut of season 2 of RuPaul's Drag Race last night RuPaul is once again a hot commodity. Never one to rest on her firmly tucked testicles, Rupaul is taking her brand of beauty, elegance, and charm to where it's needed the most by guest starring on tomorrow's episode of Ugly Betty. The drag themed episode entitled "Chica and the Man" will feature Wilhelmina Slater going pointy toe to pointy toe with her drag alter-ego, played by Vanessa Williams' real life brother, Chris. On the topic of Vanessa, Ms. Williams if you're nasty, RuPaul gushed about her costar and the actress/singer's "extravaganza" as she puts it. "Vanessa Williams has always displayed it. She's unstoppable," RuPaul told Celebrity News Services. "She's tenacious, and has the charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talent to sustain a career for twenty-five years in this business. She's amazing."
On a sad note, Ugly Betty has been canceled and will end it's run this May, but at least they got Ru in before the show went away. Ru's own brand of charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talent will definitely work on the show as long as she remembers two words of her own advice: A ) "You better work!" and B ) "Don't fuck it up."
My torrid past with Andy Samberg
With the recent news that Andy Sambeg will appear as a guest star on an upcoming episode of Parks and Recreation, I am reminded of my previous obsession with the shaggy-headed Saturday Night Live star. When Samberg first appeard on SNL I became immediately smitten with him, going so far as to write a short story about a courtship between he and I among other things. Since this blog is more than 50 yards away from him, I feel here would be a good place to share this one time fascination with you. Please enjoy.
When I was in kindergarten, two of my good friends, Steven Watkins and Ian Jeffries, had a fight. I honestly dont remember what it was about but Im sure it was something of great importance like a broken G.I. Joe dol.....action figure or possibly fallout from<< MORE >>
SNL tested, Republican approved
Newly elected Massachusetts State Senator Scott Brown, pictured here, said he approves of the Saturday Night Live skit featuring Jon Hamm playing the hunky politico on last weekend's episode. In the skit Brown is depicted as driving Democrats to distraction with his boyish charm and Chuck Wooleryesque good looks. Brown said of the skit, "Thank goodness I like a good laugh."
If we're so great, why do we keep stealing your ideas?
Ricky Gervais, pictured here when he was the lesbian singer for a boy band in the 80s, recently held an interview with the Sun Times to talk about his new kids book, his movie The Invention of Lying, hosting the Golden Globes, and about his all around awesomeness. During this interview Ricky divulged his desire to write a drama for, get this, US telly.
"I would like to write a show for US TV because there's different ambitions. They're coming out with the best comedy and drama the world has ever seen at the moment," he stated obviously having never seen Two and a Half Men or Private Practice.
"I'd probably like to do something like Dexter. It's great, really different and dramatic but funny too. We're nowhere near quality like that in the UK. Damages is another great US show...nowhere near it.
"And they've got comedies like Arrested Development and Curb Your Enthusiasm."
I'll give him those last 2 but in all honesty there is not a whole lot for the man who created The Office and Extras to be jealous of other than Jersey Shore of course. Maybe he's just kissing ass so American producers will take notice, but it really seems as if he's demeaning his previous work. Regardless I look forward to seeing the drama Ricky G plans to bring us in the near future.
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We all Scream for bloody murder
While doing press for his hit CW show The Vampire Diaries gay horror maven Kevin Williamson took some time to talk about the probability of Scream 4, which seems to be becoming more and more likely. Williamson appears to be working on a script now and is taking inspiration from the Saw movies but not in the way you may think. I'll let Kevin tell you himself:
"What I have always liked about this movie versus the other horror films is that I feel like there are characters," says Williamson. "In other horror movies, you remember Michael Myers and you remember Jason. In our film, I think you remember Sydney Prescott because Sydney Prescott's the victim and she has lasted for all three of these movies. The fun of the film is that it's Sydney Prescott. That's the difference and you care about her. I want to write a story where you actually care about our characters and it's a plot that you watch them walk through. It's not all about the next kill. It's not all about slice and dice. I was watching Saw VI on Pay Per View the other night and I was like, 'This is really just going from one kill to the next, to the next.' It's fun, but I want to tell a story."
And when asked if he might consider killing off this Sydney character, for whom we care so deeply, in the first ten minutes of the film, Williamson answered coyly, "The story has to start somewhere."
Dick.
What he really wants to do is cliche
Josh Radnor Sundance Interview, wearemoviegeeks.com from Anthony Meadows on Vimeo.
TV's Ted of How I Met Your Mother, aka Josh Radnor, took home the audience award for Favourite US Drama at the Sundance Film Festival this weekend, which is ironic that it's the US Drama award but still spelled with the snobby "OU" in "favorite." As I previously reported Josh has been shopping the movie about disaffected youth around for distribution for a while now and this win should definitely cinch the deal for him.
Damon, Stefan, and Elena all in bed together!
Just chatting mostly. The two dudes are brothers, you pervert.
Nessie keeping her head down
With Nessie sightings down recently many legitimate scientists fear that she passed away peacefully in her sleep, most likely from old age. However the head of the Loch Ness monster’s fan club, Gary Campbell, has denied suggestions
that the animal is dead following a credible sighting last year. “There is an embarrassment factor to seeing Nessie. The first thing people say to you is, ‘Had you had a drink?’" He went on to say, “Ten years ago we had a lot of good sightings, but in the last two or three years, they have tailed off.” There were also a number of “more dubious” sightings over the course of 2009. These included a sonar contact witnessed 'Allo, ’Allo star Vicki Michelle and other cast members from the stage version of the popular BBC sitcom. The cast was on a pleasure (read: booze) cruise when they allegedly picked up five mysterious arch shapes on its sonar between Dores and Urquhart Castle.
The 2009 episode “Death at Loch Ness” on the documentary series MonsterQuest looked at the theory that the Loch Ness Monster might be extinct and her corpse is lying somewhere at the bottom of the lake. To prove this theory wrong, Mr Campbell hopes new witnesses might come forward. “If people start to believe this, it might start to affect tourist numbers. Whether you believe in Nessie or not, the Loch Ness Monster is one of the most important tourist attractions we have."
For the president of her fan club, Campbell certainly insists on calling her a monster a lot.
Jon Hamm brought it!
I don't remember laughing out loud at Saturday Night Live in a while but last night I had multiple laughgasms throughout the show. Maybe I was just in a good mood. Maybe it was the copious amount of peyote I did before watching. Or maybe, just maybe, Jon Hamm is the new Alec Baldwin: handsome, funny, and fearless. Bravo SNL and Jon Hamm for a show well done.
A movie about Lincoln. FINALLY!
Abraham Lincoln, the third hottest U.S. President, behind Barack Obama and William McKinley, is getting a flashy, fancy-pants Hollywood movie made about him. Several movies have been made about Lincoln's life but not too many specifically about his death. Tanning enthusiast and part-time director Robert Redford plans to rectify this toot sweet with his upcoming film The Conspirator which focuses on Mary Surratt, who was the first woman to be put to death in America for her ties to John Wilkes Booth. This would seem to be a perfect role for Charlize Theron since she could wear no make-up and act bat shit crazy, but instead Robin Wright has been cast in the role. Meanwhile the long-awaited film from Speilberg about the same topic is still languishing with no word on when or if it will happen.
Flashback Friday - "Werewolf"
30 Rock & Roll
Seemingly eternal super stud Jon Bon Jovi will appear on the Valentines Day episode of 30 Rock as, what else, a potential love interest for lovelorn Liz. In the episode several past loves, from doofy doctor Jon Hamm to potential Mr. Right Jason Sudeikis (whose character is now getting married and competing on The Today Show for a dream wedding), will appear on the episode to taunt Liz's single status. The most shocking revelation in the episode will most likely come when it is revealed that Jovi is actually a vampire thus explaining how he's looked exactly this hot for 20 years.In a related story, look at those guns on Jovi! Damn!
Resident Gleeful
Resident Evil badass Milla Jovavich is the latest in the long line of celebrities who has expressed a desire to appear on the FOX hit Glee. In an interview with TV Guide the hottie said, "I would go on it in a second! It would be a laugh that's for sure. I'd totally be in Sue's camp, I love her," She
added: "It's a really inspiring show … I would have been on it without
any other guest stars going on, I've been watching it since the day it
came out."
Steamy yet awkward
Sean Faris from Tyler Shields on Vimeo.
You may recognize the new Vampire Diaries bartender, Sean Faris, from his work on the short-lived and under-appreciated Life as We Know It on ABC, but I remember him from that skateboarding red dress movie where the girl from Spy Kids had a slumber party. I'm not sure if that was the actual name of that movie, but you definitely know the one I'm talking about. In the photo shoot above Faris makes out with a girl while soaking wet as lowly production assistants throw fake blood on him. I'm sure the still pictures are far less awkward.
Rupaul's Drag Race new season starts Monday
Is Rupaul's Drag Race the best reality show on television? It just may be. While most people expected the show to be throwaway camp on an obscure cable network that most people don't know exists, the first season proved to be so much more. By combining elements of other reality shows, and by taking itself seriously, Drag Race has proved a lot of people wrong. The contestants not only have to sew their own outfits (Project Runway) they also have to dance (SYTYCD), perform (I Wanna Be a Soap Star), and live together (Real World) but the show appreciates drag as the art form it is. That's not say there's not plenty of fun, mostly from the titular queen of drag herself, Rupaul. The new season starts Monday February 1 at 9/8c so do yourself a favor and set your DVR. "And remember, don't fuck it up!"
Finally an advance for marriage equality
With minority rights put to a popular vote in several states and the National Organization for Heterosexual Advancement led by Maggie Gallagher still waddling along determined to diminish gay rights, it pleases me to announce a big step for equality. Not now, but in the future according to the new SyFy series Caprica, gay marriage is not only legal, it's really hot. Sasha Roiz plays Sam Adama, a Tauron immigrant to Caprica who works as a mob enforcer, but stoolies aren't the only thing he's whacking. On the new show his character is not only gay, he's also happily married. Roiz told SciFi Wire, "Sam's gay, and he's married. I think it's great, because in Caprica there isn't any prejudice or stigma attached to it." That is of course because Maggie Gallagher is long dead in this future world and people have finally realized that Mormonism was a big joke that got out of hand. No word yet on who plays Roiz's husband, but might I suggest Ted Haggard?
